The Emotional and Legal Consequences of Desertion in Marriage
Desertion can damage a marriage, leaving a lot of emotional impact and heavy legal consequences. Unlike separation cases where the decision could be mutual, or divorces settled amicably outside court, desertion means when one spouse suddenly abandons the relationship, leaving the other partner in a quite bewilderingly hurt and overwhelming situation. Whether personal, emotional, or for external reasons, it creates a profound breach of trust and, according to the law in many jurisdictions, can be one of the bases for divorce.
The blog expresses an overview of marriage desertion, in what sense it does or does not differ from separation, what emotional and legal consequences such an action may have, and how to cope with this problematic situation.
What Is Desertion in Marriage?
Marital desertion involves one spouse walking out of the marriage without consent or at least agreement with the other spouse and with no intent of returning. The spouse abandons marriage duties, emotional commitment, and, most often, financial responsibilities, leaving everything to the discretion of the partner left behind to manage.
In defining desertion in a marriage, it should be noted that it is not a mere physical absence but also the refusal to perform marital duties. The deserting spouse may still reside in the same house but refuses emotional involvement or fulfillment of obligations and responsibilities, thus constituting constructive desertion.
Desertion vs. Separation: Key Differences
Although separation and desertion sound similar, they have apparent legal and emotional differences. Separation requires both spouses to agree to live apart. Sometimes, the reason for their living apart is to resolve differences or to prepare for a divorce. There is mutual consent herein, and typically, both parties understand the terms of the arrangement, be it temporary or permanent.
On the other hand, desertion involves a unilateral decision of one spouse to leave or abandon the marriage without the other spouse's will. Generally, desertion blindsides the spouse being abandoned and leaves feelings of betrayal; it may also carry significant legal consequences in many cases, primarily when a party seeks divorce based on desertion.
Recommended read: Navigating The Divorce Process: A Step-by-Step Guide
How Long Does Desertion in Marriage Last?
Most legal systems require desertion to continue for a certain length before it is grounds for divorce. The period needed is usually different depending on the jurisdiction, but it often falls between one and two years.
For this, the deserting spouse must be absent without trying or attempting to return or get into marriage. It needs to be established that the abandonment was not mutual consent, and the spouse who was left behind had not agreed to the separation.
Signs of Desertion in Marriage
It is not always sudden and apparent. Sometimes, the deserting spouse gradually withdraws both physically and emotionally until the relationship is irretrievably broken. Here are a few significant signs of abandonment within marriage:
- Emotional withdrawal occurs when one spouse stops communicating or showing emotional involvement, thus creating a great distance between partners.
- Physical Absence: The spouse is away from the home for extended periods without an explanation or leaves the household altogether.
- Lack of Financial Support: The abandoning spouse stops contributing financially, and all expenses fall on the spouse who is not abandoning.
- Avoiding Marital Duties: The spouse stops being responsible for essential duties, such as childcare or household chores.
It might be seen as desertion when you notice any of these signs, and you should consider your next steps.
Reasons Why Desertion Takes Place in Marriages
Desertion in marriage can be due to everything from personal problems to relational ones. Knowing them may help you cope better and find a solution to the problem. Common causes include the following:
Emotional Disconnection
With time, a couple may grow away from each other emotionally, and there is either spouse who, out of being neglected or unfulfilled, opts not to face the challenge head-on but instead to leave the union. This gradually leads to physical desertion.
Financial Constraints
Finances often burden marriage, and either spouse may resent having to juggle through such times. Some spouses may be overwhelmed by financial responsibilities and abandon the marriage as an alternative to pressure.
Infidelity
This may result in a loss of trust in that one of the spouses deserts the marriage out of guilt feelings or ties elsewhere.
Mental Health Issues
It is also applicable as one of the causes of marital desertion. Unresolved mental disorders such as depression and anxiety may compel a spouse to drift out of the relationship and fail to deal with his feelings and responsibilities.
Fear of Confrontation
Some may lack the emotional armamentarium to express their discontent in marriage. Instead of standing their ground before the partner or getting counseling, they might opt out of the marital relationship rather than having tough talks.
Emotional Consequences of Abandonment in Marriage
Abandonment within marriage is one of the worst experiences emotionally that a spouse could go through. Sudden absence may bring feelings of rejection, confusion, and deep emotional pain. Here are some of the emotional impacts of desertion:
Sense of Betrayal
When your spouse leaves without notice, it often feels like a betrayal of your trust. The promises made through marriage are broken, which usually causes doubt to enter your whole relationship.
Loss of Security
Marriage provides emotional, financial, and physical security. The absence of one spouse who has left the relationship may leave their partner feeling insecure and uncertain about what might happen in the coming days.
Loneliness and Isolation
Abandonment may lead to intense loneliness and feelings of being isolated, especially if the deserted spouse has a poor support system. An emotional vacuum may also be felt, which is challenging to cope with, at least during the initial abandonment phase.
Guilt and Self-Doubt
Abandonment asks the forsaken spouse about their contribution to being left behind. Feelings of guilt and blaming oneself for a partner who has left may emerge even when one has done no wrong.
Legal Consequences of Desertion in Marriage
In most jurisdictions, desertion is a fault-based ground for divorce. Proof that one spouse left the marriage may be used against that spouse in divorce cases, affecting equitable division of property, alimony, and even custody of children.
Ground of Divorce
Desertion can be considered grounds for divorce in most states that allow fault divorces. However, desertion requires specific criteria to be proved, such as a continuous period of time the spouse has left with absolutely no intention of returning.
Alimony and Support
The abandoning spouse may be ordered to pay alimony or spousal support if the court finds that their desertion caused financial hardship for the remaining spouse.
Child Custody
Desertion may also be a factor in child custody. Generally, the courts consider what is in the child's best interest, and it might be hard for the deserting parent to have custody or visitation rights.
Learn more: Why You Should Use a Divorce Paralegal for Your Legal Needs
Practical Ways of Dealing with Desertion in Marriage
If you are facing desertion in your marriage, there are a few steps you will have to take to secure your emotional well-being and protect your legal rights. Here are some practical tips:
Seek Emotional Support
Abandonment can make you feel robbed and very vulnerable emotionally. Lean on family, friends, or a therapist to help you process your feelings and regain some sense of stability.
Consult a Lawyer
If abandonment is considered grounds for divorce in your state, it might behoove you to reach out to a divorce attorney so that you understand your legal options. A lawyer may not only file a divorce but even provide financial support and protect rights in court.
Protect Your Finances
If your spouse has deserted you financially, you must take immediate steps to protect your financial interests. You open separate bank accounts, document all financial records, and protect the joint assets from misuse.
Document the Desertion
If you plan on filing for divorce due to desertion, then you document the abandonment of your spouse. This documentation will prove that the detention occurred in court and how it affected you.
Suggested read: Preparing For A Divorce: Tips For A Smooth Transition
Conclusion: Rebuilding After Desertion
Desertion in marriage is an unfortunate, painful phenomenon; it is not an event, however, that will define your future. Understanding its emotional and legal consequences means the first step to taking charge of your future. Have a close-knit support system around you, seek legal advice, and start rebuilding your life after the trauma caused by the desertion. This could be a very cumbersome journey, but one will emerge with added strength to their resolve, with more resilience, ready to create a future filled with hope and new possibilities.
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